Nine Months Later and The Cost of Leaving Taiwan

I took my legal name back two days after I returned to Canada.

That was a secret no one knew except me and my family. I didn’t plan it that way. It wasn’t done maliciously, although it felt great. Service Canada suggested my maiden name for access to OHIP. My health had to come first.

Nine months ago, I left Taiwan with two suitcases, a suitcase full of medications, and my cats. This article is about the cost of leaving Taiwan.

I didn’t just leave a country. Readers, I stepped out of my entire life at 50 years of age. I lost my home, my family, my friends, my routines, my healthcare, my career, my income, my mobility, and the life I had spent almost twenty years building in Taiwan.

And I absorbed ALL the consequences: the medical collapse, the financial collapse, the relocation, the loss of work and access. In their place came administrative and legal burdens, extreme poverty, profound grief, severe trauma symptoms, and the task of rebuilding my life at 51 years of age with nothing.

That is not what a balanced separation should look like. That’s someone getting everything while the other person is left in the rubble.

I also feel at this point it’s important to remind people that I left with the intention of going back. When I asked for space, I was told I needed to do more WHILE I was recovering from losing my entire life. Just 23 days later I was erased from my life in Taiwan.

While my world was collapsing, my final messages to my husband show me COMFORTING HIM about MY departure. I was still providing the emotional cushioning while I was the one leaving everything behind.

We had been together for 23 years. We had lived in Taiwan together for 19 of those years.

For my final two days there, over Christmas, he went to Taipei to enjoy steak and seafood.

I stayed behind and packed. There was no food in the house. My local burger truck guy gave me a burger for free on December 26th. He was sad I was leaving. It seemed my husband was not.

During those two days alone over the holidays, friends took time out of THEIR holidays to come to my home. They helped remove some of my belongings so I could leave Taiwan with something that was mine.

And yes, I know the response. “But you told me I could go.”

I did. Because asking him not to go would have meant interfering with his Christmas plans, and by then I knew what that could cost me.

So I said he should go and then I continued packing alone. The night before he came back, I stayed up late to change my passwords and lock down MY accounts. I didn’t touch anything that didn’t belong to me and I took nothing but what was mine.

I also left Taiwan believing I would return nine months later because part of me was still hoping that things could be resolved. But even that was a distant dream. I tried to hug him goodbye the night before I left and he was a board.

Just before I got in the car and drove away with Liza, I tried once more to hug him and reassure him that everything would be ok. He refused to look at me, say goodbye, or hug me back.

Imagine that. He believed I was leaving for nine months, as did I. And he refused to spend my final weeks and days with me OR give me a proper goodbye.

So much for being “his best friend” and “I would never do that!!!”

As I pulled away, there was no doubt left that I was leaving something that was no longer safe for me.

Since coming home, I have received records that changed what I understood about those final weeks. While I was publicly asking for help in January 2026 to cover my medications, my US bank account was being drained until US$100.01 remained.

This happened on January 23, 2026 along with several other things. My phone service was cut off. I lost access to healthcare systems, banking pathways, my medical team, and the company I had helped build.

Amber Services describes behaviours like these as post-separation abuse. I counted 13 behaviours on its checklist that matched what I experienced. Therapists and women who were helping me had warned me this could happen.

I am profoundly grateful that, two nights before I left, I locked down the most important parts of my digital life. My secondary accounts were later battered with relentless login attempts. I have receipts for all of that and, most importantly, the paper trail.

For nine months, I have been rebuilding loudly. Piece by piece and truth by truth. I took my name and my life back.

And I am finding my way back to the woman I was before I started shrinking myself around someone else’s moods.

For years, I softened it. “He’s just in a bad mood.”“He’s grumpy.”“When things are good, they’re really good.”

I protected him and I will NOT do that anymore. Again, he forgot who he married. I know my worth and I will not stay silent.

This is not to punish anyone. It’s to keep the record clean and to remind anyone who has suffered this kind of treatment that you are allowed to talk about what happened to you.

That is where the healing begins.

I may not ever recover financially from the damage caused by my situation, but you all know I’m going to try my very best to continue doing what I’ve always done.

I’m working within my limitations, I’m helping others, and I’m talking about what matters to me. What matters to me seems to matter to a huge number of women around the world who have been through similar things.

We do not hide the things that hurt us. Instead, we rise with them and name them out loud.

More from my TRUTH DAY series

This post is part of my TRUTH DAY series, documenting what happened, what the records show, and what rebuilding has required. Read the other posts in the series here.

1. 19 Years with My Several Worlds: The Next Chapter
2. 17 Years with axSpA and Choosing a Different Kind of Love
3. Starting Over Isn’t Starting From Nothing
4. Sentences That Stay With You – Words That Cut Like Knives
5. Four Months Since I Left Taiwan — Beyond Capacity
6. High-Functioning Collapse in Complex Care
7. Repatriation Lesson One: Healthcare and Disability Do Not Cross Borders
8. The Fear of Being Abandoned When You Are Sick
9. Ownership, Labour, and Erasure at Reach To Teach Recruiting
10. Chronic Illness and Disability: How Sick Do You Need To Be For Help?
11. The Day I Was Supposed to Return to Taiwan
12. The Invisible Weight of a Disabled Wife

If you’d like to support my rebuilding, my GoFundMe remains open. I am still recovering financially from leaving Taiwan and rebuilding my life in Canada, and any support helps with medical, relocation, and basic living costs. Thank you for being here.