The Disability Gap to the Medical Access Gap — Rebuilding 7 Life Systems

From the Disability Gap to the Medical Access Gap — Rebuilding Seven Life Systems

I’ve been quiet for the past 16 days, trying to hold things together. Things have been intense.

Since January 27, I’ve had 18 medical appointments, and I’m still in stabilization mode waiting for specialist care to begin.

I know many of you have been wondering how I’m doing, especially those of you who supported me. In short, I’ve been really overwhelmed and very focused on trying to set up essential life systems. Most people go through one or two at a time.

I’m going through seven and rebuilding from nothing.

Right now, I have a doctor bridging the gap while I’m being triaged into the Canadian healthcare system.

She’s been able to secure medications for me, which has been critical—my Taiwan medications ran out today. Without that bridge, I would already be in crisis.

If things worsen, I go straight to the ER. That hasn’t changed either. Not in 15 years have I been able to dodge ER when things get worse.

I have now been accepted into rheumatology, cardiology, and hematology, but acceptance doesn’t mean access. I’m in the waiting phase to actually be seen.

So for now, I’m doing what a lot of complex patients end up doing. I’m holding the line while waiting for care to begin. I have my hands on the steering wheel and I’m trying desperately not to drive off the road.

At the same time, everything else in my life is being rebuilt from the ground up.

Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory

I’m dealing with MANY life stressors right now.

• housing
• healthcare
• finances
• identity
• support systems
• separation from Taiwan and the life I knew for 23 years
• career

Most people only deal with one at a time!

Last March I stumbled upon the Holmes-Rahe Stress test and scored over 300 on it. I was shocked to learn I had an 80% risk of a major health breakdown within the next two years. Sobbing every day was alarming me in ways that I didn’t understand. All I knew was I had to get my health on track to get my life back.

The worst part is I blamed it all on my health! I had no idea my marriage was breaking down. My non-stop stress about money and having to pay for my treatments was non-negotiable.

Now I understand that trying to manage complex health crises without consistent support at home added significant strain to my recovery. Being alone during serious events like clotting episodes and cardiac concerns increased my stress load and made stabilization impossible.

My body already knew it couldn’t take any more stress from these areas of my life.

Top 10 Major Life Stressors by Carrie Marshall

That’s seven major life systems, all at once while I’m medically unstable. I’m fully in the medical access gap, but at least I’m not dealing with it alone.

Most of what I’m doing right now isn’t visible. It’s paperwork, appointments, phone calls, decisions, and trying to create some kind of stability in the middle of all of this.

Ironically, this time last year in March 2025, I filed for disability assistance in Taiwan. A year to the day, I found myself completing the paperwork to file for disability assistance in Canada. I’ve been granted previsionary basics as professionals recognize I’m in major crisis. For example, I was given a handicap parking pass almost immediately.

Having left a long-term situation and returned to Canada with very little, I was also granted emergency financial help because women simply don’t fly around the world in their wheelchair with their cats with nothing but a few boxes.

My rebuilding is not ‘abstract’. I’m setting up basic things like a livable space, replacing essentials, and trying to create an environment where my health has a chance to stabilize.

This is where so many of you have helped as disability assistance and rebuilding take a long time.

At the same time, I’m navigating a system that requires patients to be both medically unwell enough to qualify for support, but functional enough to coordinate it all.

If you want to read the first post in this series, read: The Disability Gap: Taiwan, Canada, and the Myth of Access

Ironically, the thing that would help me most right now is being able to do a bit of work. I miss it. I could be building websites, helping clients, and finding some sense of normalcy and purpose again. Instead, I have to carefully limit what I do to avoid jeopardizing my support through Ontario Works.

This last part has been incredibly hard, although I am grateful to the clients who are working with me and around government regulations as I navigate the most complex journey of my life.

I feel like I’m unraveling a bit every day as I’m being forced to focus only on healthcare without being able to engage in meaningful work.

When the summer arrives, I am hoping to be able to transition to helping clients without restrictions, but I won’t be out of the system until June at the earliest. It took two months just to get the paperwork to file for disability. The hoops I have to jump through just to get the paperwork is intense.

I must be extremely careful about how I handle any income in the meantime.

That kind of constraint starts to wear on your mental health in a way that’s difficult to explain.

I also can’t drive right now and am relying on my parents and Lanark Transportation to get to appointments.

This is the medical access gap and right now, I’m in the thick of it.

My goal is simple. I need to stabilize enough to reach specialist care and get out of this holding pattern.

I’m taking it one step at a time and doing what I can each day to keep things moving forward without crashing.

I’m hopeful that by early summer, things will start to ease. But the reality is that my situation could extend well into the summer or possibly end of summer. This is just to gain access to the system. It has nothing to do with my healing or learning to cope with the very bad things that happened to me. And let me tell you, I’ve been through some very bad things in the past six years.

Thank you for being here, and for helping me stay afloat during a time when everything is happening at once.

I’ll share updates as I’m able. Right now, most of my energy is going into getting through each day.

Chronically yours,

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I need your help until I can find some solid ground and start moving forward on my own again. If you can help in any way, through donating or sharing, it would mean the world to me.

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Further Resources & Media Citations that outline my work

• The Long, Long Road To Disability Certification in Taiwan – July 1, 2025, Carrie, My Several Worlds
• When Is A Person Disabled Enough? December 27, 2023, Carrie, My Several Worlds
• Disability Inclusion Taiwan – The Full Story – March 2023-September 2025, Carrie, My Several Worlds
• Accessibility for Taiwan’s Disabled: A Work in Progress by Steven Crook, AmCham Taiwan
• International Day of Persons with Disabilities in Taiwan, Carrie, My Several Worlds
• Guide To Buying A Power Wheelchair in Taiwan – Carrie, My Several Worlds
• The Challenges of Daily Life with Disability in Taiwan – Carrie, My Several Worlds