For the past year, part of my weekly routine has included a 30 minute break at a nearby park in Shu-lin twice a week. I go there between classes so I can review my Chinese lessons without having my students breathing down my neck. It’s a nice little shaded area and I really enjoy getting a little bit of sunshine and fresh air before heading to work. Unfortunately, my walk there also includes a quick scurry to get past a particular fruit and vegetable stand unnoticed. If there were any other way to get to my next lesson, I would do it, but the park is right before a bridge and it’s the only route across, so I’m stuck with it.
I think I’ve mentioned before that the young man who owns this stand drives me crazy. I hate the way he looks at me and the way he yells at me as I walk by. His “Hallooooo!” is not meant to be friendly. His ugly betel-but stained mouth leers every time I come within eye shot and he yells at me until I’m out of sight. I’m sure he thinks he looks really cool screaming out at the foreign girl who walks by.
Unfortunately, last Wednesday he decided that enough was enough and he actually followed me into the park and demanded to know why I wouldn’t return his greetings. This is unusual in itself as I’ve never been followed by anyone here in Taiwan. It happened a few times in China, but I think it was more out of curiosity than an attempt to get somewhere with a girl.
At first I tried to diffuse the situation by being polite. Since I was operating on my first impression, I thought that perhaps I was being a bit stereotypical and over-judgmental. But usually my instincts are right about people, and my instincts told me to stay the hell away from this guy. Still, I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was a decent fellow who only wanted to have chat. WRONG!
It quickly became apparent that he wasn’t a decent guy when he started beckoning to me and making kissy-faces at me. Was he for real? He really thought I was going to kiss him! I told him to go away and he left. Then he came back a few minutes later with a friend and wanted to know if I wanted to go inside and ‘watch a movie’ with him. He made a rude gesture with his hips and started laughing really loudly while elbowing his buddy in the ribs. WTF?! What a pig! And what a lovely way to treat a guest in your country.
I abruptly told him in Chinese that I had no desire to watch a movie with him or accompany him inside because I come from Canada, where there are real men. I made a quick signal with my fingers to explain the ‘long and short’ of it for him. His buddy burst out laughing. I gathered my things up and left them standing there.
Unfortunately, this nasty little encounter won’t end, because I still have to walk by the asshole twice a week. I saw him on Friday and graced him with the bird. He has continued his shouting and leering, so nothing has been accomplished. Actually, he’s won. He still thinks he’s the king shit and I’ve lost my place in the park.
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Wow, that is a great story. Not great in the sense that the guy is an ass, but great in an amusing kind of way. I find some Taiwanese men can be so stupid sometimes it just blows me away. Of course, there are stupid men everywhere and that label shouldn’t be left for Taiwanese men only. Good luck in dealing with him. Bring a whistle with you in case anything too weird happens.
Oh, and becasue of your site I started using the Options theme on mine. I like it a lot, and the author is quite helpful. Looks like an update for it will be ready in a week or so.
i’m not sure why you didn’t just bash him in the mouth. i think that one walk with John past his place will probably end it (especially with a pair of rolled up socks in his trousers!) haha! please keep us all informed Carrie.
Hi John,
I’m glad you like it. And I agree, it is rather amusing in a bit of a sad way. A whistle is a good idea, but I won’t be needing it. I don’t plan on returning to the park and will find another place instead.
I checked out your site. It looks great, and I’m glad I was able to provide some inspiration. It looks like you’re the second blogger friend I’ve inspired with the Options theme. There are so many options that no two sites ever look alike, and best of all(for me that is), I have yet another friend to call upon when I get mixed up and muddled amongst the code.
Justin has some amazing themes and he’s incredibly helpful. I can’t believe he offers them for free. It looks as though his hard work has paid off, as he mentioned today that he was able to buy a new monitor from the donations he’s received.
MJ,
I would’ve pulled some Kung Fu style fighting with him, but alas that is not the way this young warrior fights her fights. You hit the nail on the head when you suggested bringing John by for a little chat. We talked about it this afternoon. We both thought it was a great idea, but then after talking about it, we realized that John can’t walk me to class everyday. I’m just going to have to suck it up and deal with it.
What a jerk! (My first word choice was not printable for public view.) It’s unfortunate that this one nasty, unpleasant person is preventing you from going back to this area. The part that gets to me the most is that in his macho, chauvinistic mind he thinks he won. It’s better safe than sorry, though, with jerks out there like this.
Sandy,
I know. That’s what bugs me about it too. I haven’t done anything wrong, and I feel like I’ve been punished for minding my own business. Oh well. I have an adventuresome spirit, so I guess it means I need to go exploring and find another place to call my own for awhile.
My sister is a police officer and has sent me emails cautioning me on following the same daily routes, so I guess this was my wake-up call. It’s better to keep changing it up. Once we become secure in our daily routines, we become sitting ducks.
oh no Carrie! If I could, I would apologize for the whole island. As a Taiwanese myself, this is so embarrassing to read and I wish I could meet this ass and give him a piece of my mind.
Like you said, “what a way to treat a guest to the island!” This is just wrong.
So sorry that you had to experience this in Taiwan
Hi Thomas,
No need to apologize. The wonderful people I’ve met here far outweigh jerks like this one. There are folks like this everywhere, not just Taiwan.
Frustrating indeed!
I’m not sure on the Chinese characters, but these guys are referred to as “Taike” with 台美 their scantily clad counterparts. Most often marked by red stained lips and greasy hair, they come adorned with a cigarette and torn baggy clothing. They are the terror of the average foreigner and Taiwanese alike. Most are quite adept with their hands, quick with a (crude) joke, and rather dominating personalities. They travel in packs and feed off the energy of their buddies, whose approval gives them the satisfaction of knowing that they are the coolest fish in their tiny “2-Taipei-City-Block” fishbowls. Apart from potential hearing damage as a result of their loud catcalls, they are relatively harmless from a distance, but their reckless helmetless scooter or seatbeltless clown-car-packed driving poses a danger to themselves and others. There are also a tougher breed that are quick to anger and violence, and often unsolicited and random. This breed is nearly indistinguishable from the former, and so all that fit this description should be avoided.
However, species of this variety can be found in any country, as I recognize similar traits in many of those I called friends back home where I grew up. It seems humans have adapted to coexisting with each other with relatively few outbreaks during daily encounters. Can’t say much for the largescale though (sad, sad thing war is).
Carrie: Don’t you have any guangxi? Having someone important speak to Mr. Idiot would shut him up. Well, it would here, I don’t know about the social strata in the rebel province.
Or John and some brass knuckles. Either way.
Dale,
I don’t know if this guy is part of that group or not. I just wish he’d leave me alone.
steer well clear of this asshole even if it means taking a long detour. now that he’s lost face he might want to get even.
Stevo,
I don’t think having someone talk to him will do the trick. It will probably make matters worse. I could bring someone along to talk to him but then what happens the next time I’m alone? I think the best plan of action is to avoid him. I probably shouldn’t have run my mouth off. I’ve kind of dug my own grave in that respect.
Naruwan,
That’s not what I want to hear! This guy has pestered and harassed me for over a year and now I should avoid him completely. Ugh. At the risk of sounding like a child, I’m going to say, “Not fair!” I should’ve kept my mouth shut.
Carrie, you have the right to carry pepper spray and use it on anyone you perceive to be a threat. chances are, Mr. Red Mouth has a criminal record already and like the guy in our neighborhood are just looking for another reason to lock him up again.
Wow Carrie this is a terrible story! The guy certainly is a total jerk. I can’t believe he did that to you. I hope the situation has gotten a bit better an that you can still enjoy your time in the park.
Jerk indeed! Ew. So frustrating not to be able to go where you want and mind your own business without being harrassed. I really do like your comeback though
. But after reading Dale’s story that guy should probably best be avoided in the future.
P.S. I’m not on Facebook or Twitter, but have been looking into it lately. If I do get on board, I will certainly look you up – I’d like to get to know you better as well.
carrie, i’m so sorry to hear about this dickhead’s behaviour. as a taiwanese, i’m absolutely embarrassed!
MJ,
I shudder to think about pepper spray. I’ve been on the receiving end of it (I intervened in an attempted robbery and got sprayed in the process) and I just don’t know if I’m the kind of person that could do that. I’m a lover, not a fighter.
Joanna,
Nope. The park is a no-go for me. I won’t go back. I found an alternate route today. It’s an extra ten minutes out of my way, but better to be safe than sorry.
Kim,
In retrospect, I probably should’ve kept my mouth shut. There’s no point in aggravating the situation.
Make sure you do look me up if you decide to jump on board. I’m a Twitter addict, but you probably already know that.
Andres,
No reason to be embarrassed. It could happen anywhere.
Let’s blog him to death!
This reminds me so much of when I lived in Changchun, after a while I started to reply in German, then one day that didn’t even work. Even sadder is the fact that the same thing happens here in Newfoundland.
John,
Tell me about it! This is insane. I can’t believe the number of comments under this post. I’m starting to get a bit embarrassed by it. My students and co-workers have also read this post and asked me about it. I hope no one takes this the wrong way.
It is sad that one man can effectively destroy our mental state. Sorry to hear that you’ve lost your favourite place in the park. I fully agree with you. It’s better to be safe than sorry. However, you shouldn’t resign from this park. It will be good if this guy see you with John from time to time. Perhaps with the passing of time you will regain your place.
Hi K,
It’s for the better. Although I like my little place, Taiwan has no shortages of nice parks and I’m sure I’ll find another one soon enough.
There is a bettlenut stand near my apartment and I have to walk by in order to get to the nightmarket, which I frequent for dinner. The men who work there (or just hangout?) are pigs. They leer, yell HAAAALO and have on occasion actually stood, blocking my way, intentionally. I just ignored it for about a month…but I LIVE there, down the freakin’ street! Now, if they ever start with me, I give them a look to kill. One of them stood in my way the other week, intentionally with his back turned towards me right as I was walking by (his friends thought this was hilarious) and I elbowed him HARD in the ribcage. He yelled at me and I yelled even louder. I don’t know how they got it into their thick, socially retarded heads that American or Western women were weak. We’re not subservient and we don’t take crap from people. I’m certainly not walking a different way OR putting up with that crap. I have pepper spray with me at all times, too.
.-= Jaclynn´s last blog .. =-.