I like a well-organized and informative tour. John and I aren’t afraid to do our own research and see a place on our own, but we’ve found we get a lot more out of the experience if we book a private tour to see the sights.

We’ve been in and out of Bangkok over a dozen times in the past four years, and have relied on our own sense of adventure to get around. Since John’s mother was coming to join us for a three week backpacking journey through South East Asia, we thought it would be nice to book a ‘proper tour.’ While we were picking her up at the new Suvarnabhumi Airport just outside of Bangkok, we stopped by one of the ‘professional’ tourist kiosks to book a city tour. Our booking agent assured us it would be money well spent. Our half-day tour included stops at the Temple of the Reclining Buddha, The Golden Buddha and the Marble Buddha. Our English-speaking guide would pick us up at our hotel. Best of all, we wouldn’t be taken to any shops and encouraged to buy. At $50 U.S, we certainly hoped the tour would be outstanding. That’s a steep price to pay for a tour in Bangkok.

The next morning, we waited for Miss Nancy to pick us up at our hotel. Instead, we were met by a man named Avi, who informed us, “Miss Nancy no come. I be your guide.” His English got worse as we headed towards Wat Po. John and I are somewhat accustomed to dealing with poor English. Moira could barely understand what Avi was saying. She responded by pulling out her travel guide and giving us her own personal tour. She was far better than Avi, and she has never been to Asia before.

We had three stops to make that day. The first stop brought us to Wat Po, also known as The Temple of the Reclining Buddha. We expected to be led around with glowing commentary on our journey. Instead, Avi dropped us at the doors to the temple and let us wander around on our own. Luckily, I had already done my research and Moira had her guide book, so we provided our own commentary.

At the Golden Buddha, the same thing happened again. Avi sat around and picked his teeth while we ran around in the heat of the day. Our last stop of the day was supposed to bring us to the Marble Buddha. Sadly, it was closed. No one had bothered to inform us there was a festival going on. By that time, we were more than a little peeved. The tour was not going well at all.

Avi quickly found an alternative for us by taking us to a tourist trap. We arrived at the gates of a jewelry shop and John just about blew a gasket. Avi begged us to go in and look since he was being paid to bring us there. We refused. He argued. Resignedly, Avi brought us to our last and unscheduled stop of the day.

The Standing Buddha was alright. I can’t tell you much about it because we weren’t given any information and we only spent fifteen minutes there. Avi was determined to end the tour early, yet he still begged us for a tip after he dropped us off at our hotel an hour earlier than planned. I managed to snap some nice pictures, but the day was shot.

We learned nothing on our tour except this: Don’t book a tour through the Bangkok airport and beware of non-English speaking guides demanding tips at the end of a completely useless tour.